


Help Me Find Myself

by MonstrousAffections1



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Anthro Tribe AU, Anthropomorphic, Cultural Differences, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, First Time, M/M, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Violence, Threats of Violence, Touch-Starved, fear of touch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 03:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9801359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonstrousAffections1/pseuds/MonstrousAffections1
Summary: Listen to me Blue, your very existence in this world is to put your tribe's well being first and your own second.Blue's life is for his tribe, training to be the next shaman and following the rules that apply. But after an attack on the warren by the Hare tribe he is swept far from his territories by the river. Scared, lost and alone the Rabbit kit must trek back through hostile and unknown terrain back to his homeland. But he is not quite alone as it appears...A Hare warrior has washed ashore with him, the little Rabbit might not make it back alive.





	1. Dark beginning

**Author's Note:**

> ahh, yeah this is my first fanfic ever so please be nice XD!!
> 
> and a big shout out to Mazanica who helped me find the invitation button I have been looking for, for a long time!

The female rabbit sat on her hands and knees in the warren, sweat dripped off her fur as she clenched the stick hard in her mouth.

Her sister sat before the doe, hold her head into her chest trying to comfort her.

“Push, that’s it, almost done, your doing so well”

The elderly shaman urged her as he crouched between her legs ready to catch the kit.

With a final push and a muffled scream a cry of a tiny being filled the air.

The doe allowed herself the collapse and roll onto her back as the buck placed the baby upon her chest.

He was small, way too small even for a runt. The kit’s mother held his tiny body tight too her own, caressing his sky coloured fur.

The elder studied the pair with his duo coloured eyes.

“He’s too small, he’s not going to survive.”

The female looked up at the shaman fearfully.

“He will, I know he will, he’s strong…”

“The warren has no room for burdens”

“He won’t be a burden! Please!.... I can’t lose another one”

The shaman scowled, “Look at him! He’s too small to be a warrior!” he snapped gesturing to the kit.

The doe gave a sob and held her baby closer, eyes closed and defeated….

“How about a shaman?”

The elder blinked, surprised.

“Why?”

She looked up, glaring.

“I honestly don’t care if he is a burden or not but he is the only surviving child I have ever had and I will not let you or anyone waste his

life!!”

By the time she was done her ears were standing on end and her nose was twitching wildly, the perfect picture of rage.

The old buck sighed, rubbing his temples.

“What’s his name?” the mother looked down at the tiny baby and smiled.

“Blue”

* * *

 

This world is not like our world, filled with cities, towns and technology. This world is clean, filled with forest, the atmosphere is fresher

and the earth is healthy. Yes, nothing like our world at all.

The people of this world are animals, though human like it character, animal like in appearance. Most of them live in tribes, family groups

at the very least, unless one chooses to be solitary of course.

 

The Rabbit tribe are a herbivorous group who make their home in underground homes called warrens. They whole tribe takes part in

raising the young, adult males refer to each other as brother, adult females refer to each other as sister. The kits call all the adults

mother and father, but the elder are referred to as grandparents. This tribe is run strictly by the elders and is made up of three roles.

 

The warriors. These are large strong bucks who's job is to patrol the boarder of the territory, fight off unwanted intruders and protect the

does and kits.

 

Gatherers. The gatherers are usually does and kits, they are expected to find enough food for the entire tribe and store it for safe keeping

so to keep their supply plentiful.

 

And finally the Shaman, there is usually only one each generation. They have the most important responsibility in the tribe, keeping

everyone else alive. A shaman only becomes a shaman if there is an omen from the Goddess when they are born... or if the original

shaman who is present to deliver the kit says they're is.

 

"We as shaman must put the tribe before ourselves, the lives of many are of more importance than the lives of few, You must always

remember this Blue"

 

"Touch is a luxury we are not worthy of Blue, the goddess gave us our life, now we must sacrifice our own comfort for the good of the

warren."

 

"At no point will you indulge yourself in any sexual activity! We have no need for a mate, each shaman is the end of that individual's

bloodline. We are pure beings who belong to no one but the goddess, to let another lay claim to our bodies would be to taint us, you

will do well to remember Blue!!"

 

Blue remembered, he listened and he learned from his elder.

"Yes Grandfather"

The adolescent Rabbit replied sitting before his elder. 

 

  

 


	2. The Warren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys
> 
> hope ya'll doing well and in good health anyway here's the next chapter to Help Me Find Myself!

"Hold still!"

"Ow! ah! ah! your being too rough!!"

Blue grumbled under his breath as he stitched up a nasty gnash in Withers arm. The adolescent had cut himself open after falling into the river.

_"It's what he gets for being stupid!"_ The wound was fresh and still bleed, the needle soon became slippery and hard to handle.

Pulling it through the buck's skin Blue gave it a harsh tug, breaking the thread and earning a scream.

"Shut up." The sky coloured rabbit gently picked up the next needle, pushed it through and partially out the other end. Leaving it however, halfway in and out so it held the skin together then took another needle from the bowl.

"What are you doing? you said you were stitching it!"

Blue sighed irritably and entered the small sharp stick with a rough jab making the older squeal. A smug smile tugged at his white lips.

"I was but this is easier for me.... painful for you.... but it'll hold your arm together, just don't strain it."  

* * *

"Now recite the prayer! You must make sure to say each word fluently and never pronounce them incorrectly or your vows may be broken!"

Blue kneeled before his mentor eyes closed and head bowed, his perfect posture shaping the curve of his back and his arms crossed over his chest, hands on his shoulders.

The young Rabbit recited the monthly vow. "By the name of the goddess I through my own life into the hands of those around me, to protect and heal is my only purpose because she says that is so. I promise to ignore my own temptation, I shall not taint myself by giving into the weak desire for affection, for the goddess provides me with all the affection I shall need. I will not allow another to own my body  for I belong to the goddess and the goddess alone."

The kit opened his eyes and looked up at the elder without so much as moving his head. Monty smiled down at his apprentice appraisingly. "Good boy Blue"

"Thank you Grandfather."

* * *

"Blue!!" said Rabbit rolled his green eyes as a light orange doe marched his way holding a wailing kit on her hip. He raised his ears trying to look bigger than what he was.

"What?." His reply only angered her further.

"Don't you use that monotone voice of yours with me kit!" She growled, eyes livid and ears standing straight with aggression. Blue chuckled slightly and leaned all his weight on one leg condescendingly.

"I could hardly be called a kit anymore, after all I'm almost seventeen years old."

"Well if your so grown up then I can openly express how much I didn't like the way you spoke to my sister!"

"I only told the little skunk the truth, if we had been another tribe she could have been killed for so much brushing against me." 

Blue smiled as he said this. _"Goddess help me if she finds out what else I said~"_ he thought as the doe's whiskers flared.

"And now she's crying that the grandparents are going to kill her because she bumped into you!!"

The buck yawned boredly, scratching behind his ear. This only served to anger her even more.

"Good, that means she be more careful next time."

"One day Blue, one day someone's going to beat some respect into you" In fact she looked quite ready to pummel him herself! Blue laughed at the thought.

"Merall, you and I both know that no one in this tribe can so much as lay a finger on me. They may excuse accidently touching me... especially when it comes to kits, but anyone who harms me.... well, I don't think it'd be appropriate for the ears of a kit"

* * *

Blue trailed along behind the old grey Monty, helping to carry a large weaved basket full of potatoes away from the warren. They had been doing this since dawn and it was getting close to dusk. Back and forth between the warren and the twisted tree. Placing the final basket among many others the two Rabbits allowed themselves to collapse on the ground, panting. _"What the heck_  are _we doing_ _anyway?"_

"Blue.... now that it's..... close to the... new mooning.... give me a minute!"

Monty tried to explain through gasping breaths while grasping at his chest, he was getting a bit too old for this!. The younger buck almost laughed but held his tongue, politely waiting for the elder to get his breath back.

"It is nearly the new mooning, and you Blue will take your first fasting. But as for now you must eat all that is in front of you to ensure you do not die of starvation" as Monty finished enthusiastically Blue gave him a look of pure befuddlement. _"Eat_ all  _of this!_ Now _! There's_ _about twenty baskets!"_  

"Yes Grandfather." Blue said with a respectful deep nod and closing of his eyes.

* * *

Blue burped loudly as he lay under the twisted tree absolutely stuffed. His stomach ached and all the baskets empty. The kit stumbled to his feet and leaned against the tree. In the distance he could see the glow from the tribe's fire, it was bigger than usual.

_"Probably something to do with the New Mooning"_ He thought to himself as carried his heavy belly back to the warren.

The noise was louder as well, what were they doing? Singing? Didn't sound like any singing he'd ever heard. No... something wasn't right!

Blue's walk turned into a jog as he hurried his pace. When he broke through the bushes he froze, fear paralyzing him.

The warren... it... it was....

It was on fire.

It was on fire.

Why was the Warren on _Fire!!!_

 

The Rabbits they were.... fight.... 

They were fighting among themselves!!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that and yes I did leave it at a cliff hanger.
> 
> just so you know I will not be breaking the chapter up with lines in future chapters like I did in this one because I simply did that because I wanted to show some of Blue's life in the Rabbit tribe. and It'll be waaaaaaay longer too
> 
> till later updates XD


	3. Nightmare Hare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse at all but hear ya go
> 
> Hope no one is mad at me *cheesy smile*

The flames crept higher into the night, smoke covering the moon's gentle gaze. Blue's feet ached as he ran, fast and far following the does and kits away from the destruction. Screams and cries never ending, save for his own.

Where the elders were he did not know. He could hear them, chasing, running, hunting. They were getting closer! The sky rabbit pushed himself faster, grabbing a small kit's paw. _"_

_"Faster, faster! Do not stop little rabbit! RUN!!!"_

Flames erupted as a tree fell into their path, causing them to scatter. Blue followed the best he could, but could only just keep up.

He could feel them now. The vibrations of their feet racing through the glowing forest! Faster!! Faster!!! A dusty pink doe hoisted her kit up and struggled forward, her eyes watering through smoke.

The young buck could barely see either. Just the light of torchers once trees. The River was where they needed to go, they would die otherwise.

They ran as much as they could, going North. What they thought was North, looking for salvation away from the flames. But they couldn't be sure, The fire reached so high and the smoke so thick you could hardly tell which way was up and which way was down.

His fur pricked up, they were hear now. The vibrations were on top of them, they were going to die.

The group stopped as a large figure leapt in front of them, blocking their path. It was tall, long and large, it looked like a rabbit but Blue new, this was no rabbit.

Blue moved to put himself infront of his people, the larger figure drew a knife from it's person. A war cry sounded from all around them, the rabbits bolted in all directions as the hares came from both sides. The buck ran fast! heart pumping and fear flowing.

He choked on the air but he didn't stop, not letting go of the kit's paw. The child screamed and cried as she ran along side Blue, not knowing any better to keep quite. 

The cries of his people, women, children dying. It made him..... angry..... angry at himself. 

He turned and saw a large shape coming for him. Blue dropped the kit and ran straight at his attacked, leaping with a scream of outrage. 

Everything was a blur of sky, ground and trees. Hitting at anything and everything not even knowing was it was he was suppose to be fighting. Air left him as a branch connected with his stomach, Blue fell to the ash filled ground gasping for breath. 

Blue looked up at the large Hare, he couldn't see him clearly through the smoke. But he was large and strong, built for battle, built for killing. The warrior turned away from the shaman and walked with purpose towards the crying kit kneeling in the ash. 

The boy forced himself up, painfully limping after him.

The hare knelt before the kit, putting a hand on her shoulders and looking directly into her wet eyes. Blue forced himself faster, but unable to run. 

_"Please.... please Goddess....."_ He prayed as the hare unsheathed his knife. 

The rabbit prayed for speed, for strength, for time. Blue gave a final push of his back legs and slumped before them, with a scream sunk his teeth into the warrior's ankle. A rage filled cry of pain echoed through the forest.

The shaman's vision blurred as a kick connected with his head, shaking his skull. His whole being ached as the warrior knelt onto his chest. The hare raised the knife ready to plunged it down, Blue shielded his face just in time and blocked the attack.

Holding the warrior's arm he tried to push the knife away, his muscles strained and he felt a strength he never knew he had.

He forced the knife upwards digging his claws into the other's flesh, the hare gave a growls of concentration and pressed forward. Blue felt his rib cage creak and he wavered in his pain, loosing the fight slowly, the blade coming inches of his eye.

He turned his head aside in a feeble attempt to avoid the inevitable. Another a crash a tree fell beside them causing the ground to shake, the hare's arm slipped and the knife imbedded itself into the charred earth. Blue grabbed the burning branch and swung it into the hare's face, a screech of pure pain was lost in the roaring flames and the boy gave a sharp kick as the hare reared up, catching the warrior's muzzle.

He staggered to his feet and watched the larger rub desperately at his face howling in agony. The hare looked directly into Blue, and the rabbit felt terror, his eyes were red, rage filled and promising death. 

Blue ran, the other hard on his heals. 

 


	4. Wrathful Rapids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's another chapter, once again I am SO sorry for taking such a long time it's just ridiculous.

Fury hard on his heels Blue ran as fast as his feet could allow him to. The smoke and fire breathed into his flight, making his vision hazy and unable to see.

He narrowly avoided a tree seen only for the flames that danced up it's bark. The coals burned his feet but he never stopped, he knew death wouldn't be quick. Especially after that stun he pulled.

The hare pushed himself to the point of exertion, his muscles ached but never did he yield. Slowly he was closing distance, just not enough.

Blu turned sharply when an explosion of heat singed his fur, faster, faster, faster he ran leaping over a burning log and through a boiling stream, choking, unable to breath but he kept on going, his body burned worse then it has ever done before.

The fire danced in circles, playing and laughing, watching and waiting as the two made their way through them. The Moon gazed down upon the race, wondering to herself, who would win, who would outlast the other, who would live and who would die.

Cool wind caught Blu's attention, the river was drawing near, as fast as he was the rabbit knew he wouldn't be able to evade his adversary out in the open.

Not when the smoke was beginning to fade. The ground grew wetter, soil turning to rock, the flames dimmed a bit, his vision becoming clearer, the shaman pushed himself beyond allowance, his chest ached, he had never had to run like this before, without stopping.

He was going to die, Blu knew he was. The weight of that knowledge was heavy, it drew fear into his heart, but it also drew bravery.

With a last push of nerve he headed straight to the rapids, death or not, he had saved a member of his warren, he had lived his life how he was suppose to, them before him. 

He would gladly greet the Goddess of the Moon.

They were in all honesty, almost equals, not quite but very close. The rabbit was quick footed and moved through the rocks with ease, his eyes focused and fearless in a way only a man with nothing to loose could have. 

The Hare however was strong and one to never give up a chase, leaped over the rocks determined to catch his kill. His rage pushed him forward, fueled by battle rage.

Blue surged down the bank and into the water, only knee deep he waited as the hare came barreling after him, he raised his hands to brace himself as he was tackled down, thrashing and kicking.

He wouldn't go down without fighting, biting, hitting and everything he could to cause the warrior damage. He felt hands clench around his throat, pushing his head underwater.

The shaman grabbed the other's whiskers and ripped them out of his face, shoving his back claws into his stomach, pushing away, pushing himself downward.

The hare grabbed at the boy, who moved further into the river. The hare who followed did not see the wave of water rushing towards him.

And neither did Blue.

* * *

 

Blue screamed as the water through him onto the rocks, all his breath leaving him in one go.

Surfacing he sucked in air and tried desperately to keep above water, the waves pushing him under then lifting him back up again. 

Looking around to the best of his abilities he saw the high flames of his home growing further and further away, realization struck him as let the current take him, knowing he wasn't strong enough to fight it.

Branches of pine bumped and grazed him, his paws kicking at nothing, just hoping to find some ground to keep him afloat.

The rocks jagged at the sides and the water filled his eyes, nose and mouth. Whatever was going to happen, was going to happen. He knew nothing could change his fate, the water would be his grave, the rocks would break his bones and the Goddess would have his soul.

With a final breath Blue closed his eyes and let himself go under, giving in to whatever the moon allowed to happen.

 


	5. Mother Moon Be A Treacherous Wench

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! honestly I think I'm getting the hang of this so that's good. 
> 
> enjoy the story and don't forget to let me know what ya think :)

A doe sat upon the edge of the crystal pond, her black fur glistening with stars of all kind. She watched as the small sky rabbit let himself drown. 

A smile played upon her lips, mischievous, dastardly. She reached for the tree that swayed in the wind and broke off a leaf, dropping it into the water. 

It surprised her so at how willing he was to die. Never the lest a chance is what he would get. Even if he did die in the end, at least it wouldn't be now.

Then she set her pearl white eyes gazed upon the brave warrior. She almost laughed, he would not stop thrashing! Like a toddler who does not want his bath in her opinion. She leaned over the pond to touch the water-

"Aysel!" The doe jerked to a stop springing to her feet to face her husband, hands behind her back and grinning like a child who's had their hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Yes honey?" The darkened bear crossed his arms crossly. She slumped, knowing she had been caught.

"Are you tampering with the lives of mortals _again_?" He growled walked past his wife to take a look at the pond.

"Well only a little, but this is something worth altering don't you think?" Gau groaned and rubbed his forehead, growing annoyed with the Goddess's antics.

"This boy is suppose to die today, by the river protecting one of his own. So why did you change it?" 

Aysel sighed, she honestly didn't really know. Just felt that perhaps this route would be more interesting, and besides she was a Goddess! It gets boring after the first millennia.

"The rabbit people are my responsibility, I shall tamper with them how I wish." 

The bear rolled his eyes, seeing there was no way to talk her out of it. 

"Well. Perhaps I should see what I can do to ensure the hare's survival as well. Want to keep it interesting yes"

 


	6. Going Down the Bayou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I know it's a bit late in the evening to be posting this but hey humans can have a battery drainer to ya know, it's called stress XD
> 
> Anyway hears this chapter and don't worry it should be getting a lot longer now.

Blue opened his eyes. Everything hurt. Ouch....

Pushing himself up as the water dripped from his fur, sitting up on the bank he looked around. Everything was wrong, this was no where near his home, the trees were different, the sand, even the temperature. Why?? It was wrong, just wrong. How far did the river take him?

_"Heck, I should have drowned, why am I still alive?"_  

Tenderly getting to his feet Blue stumbled once as his legs twinged. He walked a little way up into the forest, this wasn't the fur forest.

Everything was too bright, too colorful. It was much warmer, not like the cooler shades of his home. Blue left the trees and went back to the beach, he had to get home. With that, the young buck set off down the bank, following the current. 

He was bound to find his way eventually, right? As long as he kept on following the river he'd get home, all river's lead home.

That was what old Monty had said to him. All rivers lead home. So yes, the river..... follow the river.

 

Blue had been walking for several hours now but there was no show of anything familiar, nothing. He was getting frightened, and the day was only getting longer, if he didn't get home by night then he feared the worst. Anything could be out hear, wolves, foxes, eagles, bears..... and other carnivores that he didn't even want to think about. 

If anything happened to him his tribe would not have another Shaman for the next generation. And as much as he hated to admit it, but he was responsible for them.

The rabbit stopped and sighed, "They sure as hell be grateful for this.... they'll be lucky if I even survive at all, stupid hicks" he muttered and trudged on. Growing more bitter as the day dragged on.

This was that kit's fault, if he hadn't bothered to step in to save her he wouldn't be in this mess in first place, he'd be back home healing wounds and helping Monty, laughing at the rest of his warren as they broke their backs cleaning up all the damage from the fire.

Blue yawned, the sun had dried his fur but it was becoming rather bothersome. So he moved into the trees, settling down for a rest. He planned to stay awake but couldn't help himself as he rested his eyes.

 

The kit awoke much later than he should have. He bolted to his feet and whimpered as he saw the setting sun over the mountains.

"No! oh no please Goddess no!" In his panic Blue raced back to the river and continued down the path, running at full speed, he had to get home now, before it got too dark!

Near hysterics the young rabbit began to make questionable decisions and called out at the top of his lungs.

"Monty!! Grandfather!! Lily!! Wither!!! Is anyone here?? Please help somebody!!! Mama!" He chocked on that last word and pushed back his tears.

"Ye don't wanna be doin that mate" Blue skidded to a stop and froze.

Looking to the every growing shadowed trees, slowly raising his ears the rabbit's heart sped up, ignoring the urge to thump his foot instead rooting for just scowling at what he couldn't see.

"Oh yeah, and why not!" 

The trees laughed, it was a condescending laugh that didn't match the voice. "Ye don't get out much do ye lad" Blue rolled his eyes, having enough, if he was going to be laughed at he would rather it wouldn't be by a tree.

"What's it matter to you anyway, either show yourself or go and drown in a pile of shit." He said casually as he crossed his arms.

"hmmmm, Nah! Anyway lad where ya be heading, I don't recall you rabbits having a warren this far up river" Chortled the tree. 

"I'm going home, and we don't, I'm from the fur forest." The voice suddenly burst out in a hearty laugh.

"Ye be goin in the wrong direction mate! The fur forest is up river!" 

"................................................................................................................................FOR FUCK SAKE!!!!!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, sorry if it sucked. I hope it will get better as the chapters progress!


End file.
